Stand Your Lane, or LOL BANG

Pacifism and nonviolence are wonderful philosophies. The capacity to practice them forms the basis of my martial arts training and most of my teaching. That’s not to say they’re always the appropriate choice. Everyone has the right, and perhaps duty, to defend themselves if another person is actively trying to kill them, whether through malevolence or negligence. It’s in this spirit that I propose the following expansion of existing stand your ground laws: Stand your lane. If I’m on a bike and you endanger me because you’re on you’re fucking phone I should be able to shoot you.

Nope, I’m not kidding. Not even a little. As the weather warms up and motorcycles come out of hibernation the calls for prayers fill up every biker forum. A weekend will not go by this summer without dozens of bikers being killed or seriously injured by selfish, distracted drivers texting LOL while ignoring the rest of the fucking world. And at the moment the bikers are defenseless. Stand your lane would even the playing field a little.

In almost every state the use of cell phones is illegal in a moving vehicle and in almost every state these laws are soundly ignored by pretty much everyone. Think about it. Have a couple drinks and drive over an innocent bystander and you’re looking at years behind bars. Do the exact same thing while making a call and you might get a small fine. Impaired driving is universally condemned if it involves a cocktail and universally accepted if it involves phones even though both are equally dangerous and illegal. The law is not protecting those of us who ride.

I ride all the time and at least once a week I’m put into a dangerous and potentially fatal situation by someone who’s breaking the law. By their negligence they’re trying to kill me. Why can’t I shoot them? Self defense is legal in every state if you feel that you’re in physical danger. Many jurisdictions have adopted laws that expand those rights to include the right to stand your ground. If I’m legally operating my motorcycle and I feel threatened shouldn’t I have the same rights?

My proposed law is very simple. Any motorcyclist who can legally carry a gun should have the right to shoot any driver who is illegally using their phone and poses an immediate threat. I know, this sounds very tongue in cheek. You might have a different opinion if you’d been forced to the shoulder at 75 mph without the benefit of thousands of pounds of steel and airbags around you. I’m dead fucking serious.

One of the things that makes me profoundly sad is that people I know, people who care about me and other riders, continue to use their phones in their cars. They don’t see the risk or read the lists of the dead every week. They haven’t buried a friend. Yet. And if you’re wondering, no, I have NEVER used my phone while driving. Not even once. Because I have buried a friend.

Human behavior changes when it has to, not when it should. You self-centered fucks aren’t going put your god damned phones down and drive until you yourselves are at risk. Perhaps bikers exercising their rights of self defense will provide the proper motivation. LOL. BANG. Saor Alba, Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion.