Oh Lord!

To all the loyal fans of The Temple of the Circus Monkey and Avoiding the Squirrels, I have an unimportant announcement to make. As part of my ongoing quest to be sillier, more serious, and have more fun I have added a heraldic title to my name. A legitimate one. I’ve purchased a small piece of land in Scotland, and with it the right to title ‘Lord’ or it’s Scottish equivalent ‘Laird’. I have the paperwork to prove it.

Therefor henceforth I shall be legally named Laird Angus McIntosh, Archbishop of the Temple. New business cards are in order. My web master will be changing the name on all of the websites. I’m actively campaigning for my wife to refer to me as M’Laird but so far she’s just rolling her eyes and sighing. And yes, I’m serious. So now you should take the following admonition even more seriously: Saor Alba, Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion.

Random Thinking…

Okay, so it’s been quite a while since I posted anything. I just haven’t been in the damn mood. I HATE this time of year. It’s colder, darker, and the hideous orgy of consumerism we call Christmas is starting. It’s hard for me to remember that we are holy creatures of light these days. But I’m back, at least for now. No guarantees until we get past New Years.

Instead of my normal one topic rant I think we’ll just let a bunch of random thoughts from the last few weeks come tumbling out like maniacal dice thrown in a demonic game of craps. Snake eyes every time…

The election- Don’t really care. One group of corporate candidates beat the other one. Everyone hates the government and every election they send the EXACT SAME people back. Idiocy of the highest order. Wake me up when we have a democracy.

The CIA scandal- Still don’t care. Powerful men like to shtoop impressionable women. So what. Same as it ever was. I’d impress some cutie-pie with state secrets to get laid if I had any state secrets to share. Quit reading spy novels and move back to reality.

Democrats- Congratulations, you know math. That doesn’t mean that we like you. Wipe the smug smile off your privileged lips. Being slightly less hateful and corrupt should not be a source of pride.

Republicans- Sorry, there aren’t enough angry repressed old white guys for you to win anywhere outside of the south. You lost because your ideas suck. End of story.

The ‘fiscal cliff’- Oh shut up. The end is near. The sky is falling. Or not. There are real, profound problems with our financial system, but this ain’t it. Classic misdirection fueled by media hype.

The media- Frank Zappa once said that politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex. Yep. That makes you guys the side show barkers desperately trying to entice us into the bullshit emporium. Find some balls and attack corporate/government power or quit calling yourselves journalists and accept the fact that you’re slightly underpaid sitcom actors.

Civil rights- Still ain’t got any. The TSA and the growing police state continue unabated. Funny, it didn’t even come up during the election. Maybe because there was no real choice?

Secession- You guys crack me up. Really, you think that’s gonna happen? But I do like the righteous anger and rebellious attitude. Godspeed and good luck.

Obama- Can we quit demonizing this guy? Jeez. It’s hardly fair to blame the mess on him just because he isn’t fixing it. Nobody else in the government is either. Making him a scapegoat doesn’t help and probably allows the real villains in corporate boardrooms to skate. Take away the racism and hero-worship and he’s just a pretty good politician, above average public speaker, and middling modern president. A less annoying Clinton.

The World Series- Dear ESPN and your east coast bias, Fuck you. The Red Sox, Mets and Phillies sucked. The Giants have won 2 out of 3. Kindly go to hell.

Evil commerce- So black Friday isn’t enough and most big retailers are going to open their stores on Thanksgiving evening. Of course this means their employees don’t get to celebrate much. God fucking forbid we have 24 whole hours to honor gratitude without buying something. Screw families, God, gratitude, tradition, and common decency. I hope there’s a very special level of hell for the people who run these companies. Maybe something involving fire ants, catheters and genitals. And if you’re one of the mindless consuming sheep lined up outside Walmart on Thanksgiving evening I think you need to seriously reconsider your priorities. Or just kill yourself. As a society we’d thank you.

Okay, that’s enough for now. My goodness, what a dark and negative post. Oh well, it is that time of year. I really do have some positive posts on constitutional monarchies, class, God, and inheritance coming. If I’m in the mood. Until that time, my pretties, remember: Saor Alba, Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion.