“Egotism is nature’s compensation for mediocrity.” L. A. Safian
Well, old Friar Angus is all worked up today. I was watching a bit of news, getting my daily dose of depressing dreck, when apparently I misheard the announcer. Turns out next Tuesday is eLection day, not eRection day. How incredibly disappointing. Oh well, let’s soldier onward and discuss the upcoming eLections. Let’s see, who do we have to vote for? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. What a fucking mess. How can I tell you who to vote for when not a single one of these fucktards are worth the oxygen they consume? As usual both sides are in a pissing contest, and all we’re getting is wet and stinky. Let’s go back to the beginning…
The people who started this country were pretty damn smart. And brave. They were willing to THINK ABOUT STUFF and then FIGHT FOR IT. I really like the civil rights they were trying to institute, so maybe we can figure out who to vote for by seeing who’s fucking up the Bill of Rights more severely. Score card please:
First Amendment- “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
Seems simple enough. Whoops, both sides lose. The left doesn’t get the free speech part. Hate speech? Really? Don’t see that in there. The right is profoundly unclear on the establishment of religion part. Both sides ignore the freely petition clause cause neither side will tell you what the fuck they’re doing once they get in power. And freedom of the press apparently doesn’t include the press being free from the same corporations that elect senators.
Second Amendment- A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
Clearly a win for the right. I’m pretty sure that I’ll get me ass arrested if I load my .357 and carry it to Safeway on my hip. The left is happy to crap all over this one.
Third Amendment- No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Wow, both sides get a win. They can’t seem to figure a way to fuck this one up.
Fourth Amendment- The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
I’m afraid the left wins this one. Those law and order types seem all to willing give up these rights in order to feel some kind of false security. Rendition anyone? How about the ‘war on some drugs’? Nope, the right is wrong here.
Fifth Amendment- No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation.
I think we have another tie. Both sides vote for shit like seizing the property of accused drug dealers or damn near anything if you put ‘terrorist’ in the name of the bill. This one has been so compromised that the blame easily covers both sides.
Sixth Amendment- In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.
Another tie. Money, influence, racism, entitlement, and corruption have fucked the system up beyond all recognition. A pox on both houses.
Seventh Amendment- In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.
Wow, another one where there apparently was no reason to fuck it all up. Who knew? Isn’t this fun, and when’s the last time you actually read this document?
Eighth Amendment- Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
Ninth Amendment- The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
Tenth Amendment- The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
I went ahead and consolidated the last three because both sides regularly stomp all over all three of them if it suits their agenda or their never ending squabble for power.
Where does that leave us? Both sides are busily devouring the constitution like fat hungry tyrants, leaving us whatever small scraps fall off their richly appointed table. That wasn’t much help. Maybe we can look at individual races…
How about California Governor- A rich entitled woman who never bothered to vote and has repeatedly ignored both laws and common decency. She smacks employees, keeps an illegal housekeeper, uses her wealth to get her misogynist son out of assault charges, and has absolutely no qualifications for governing. Or you can vote for a guy who has spent his entire life running for office. Bleaaaach. Okay, I’ll try the California Senate race- Another rich entitled woman who doesn’t vote and gleefully almost wrecked HP while sending thousands of tech jobs to India is running against a woman who’s been in the Senate for 28 years and has accomplished ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Fuck. I give up.
So maybe the answer is don’t vote. Just throw up your hands and walk away. NO NO NO. Then the fuckers win. They want you to be apathetic. They want both choices to suck so you stop paying attention. Don’t fall for it. I’m voting, and here’s my new voting guidelines. Follow them if like…
I will vote FOR any candidate if they:
* Promise to tax rich people.
* Have a history of actions that have some relation to their words.
* Seem to have some affinity for the Bill of Rights.
* Don’t mention God in their campaign
* Don’t take obviously hypocritical positions.
* Are anti-corporate power.
I will vote AGAINST any candidate if they:
* Are clearly stupid and are proud of it. Candidates must know things. (Sorry, Ms Palin.)
* Get their best friends wife drunk so they can fuck them. (Paging Gavin Newsom.)
* Tell me about their relationship with God. No candidate knows what God thinks or wants.
* Leave their previous job in shambles. (Ms Harris and many others.)
* Talk about ‘small government’ while at the same time proposing a hundred ‘christian’ social programs.
* Talk about ‘civil liberties’ while supporting a hundred programs that force social engineering and reduce personal responsibility.
I know. This won’t leave me too many good choices. But we have to start somewhere. And I’m reposting two earlier political posts. It won’t be as fun as eRection day would be, but go vote anyway. Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion.