Vegetarians and their Cow Overlords

“Court life with love, and tame it with discipline; be an amateur at heart, and a professional in mind.” – Eolake Stobblehouse

Well boys and girls, here we are again.  Monday morning and the world is going to hell in a hand-basket.  There are many important issues to be discussed, but the good preacher just isn’t in the damned mood.  So let’s talk about vegetarians instead.  Not that vegetarians aren’t serious.  Lord no.  You’ll never find a more serious group.  I just meant that I’m not too serious on the subject.

I better start with a disclaimer.  I was a vegetarian for about 18 months in the late 80’s.  I swear I was starving the entire fucking time.  Also some of the most important people in my life are vegetarians.  I support their choice, whether spiritual or political, even if I don’t happen to agree with it.  Intelligent people can disagree without rancor and I hope they take this sermon in the way it is intended.

One of the joys of being a paranoid nut case is that you don’t necessarily need facts to explain the world around you.  One’s mind is free to consider all sorts of entertaining possibilities without being constrained by a reality based paradigm.  (And my world is probably more interesting than yours.)  It was with this skill set that I started to think about vegetarians.  You see, diet is pretty simple to me.  Our ancestors survived because they could and did eat anything.  We are predators.  We live at the top of the food chain and I see no need to apologize for it.  I don’t think God much cares one way or the other since pretty much everybody seems to everybody else in nature.  I also don’t feel the need to follow 2000 year old superstitions about certain foods.  So I eat the things that taste good and provide efficient fuel.  End of story.

Given these clear and simple facts I’ve tried to explain why so many bright people don’t want a tasty steak.  And a few years ago I finally figured out the ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION.  Cow hypnosis.  Yep.  You heard it here first.  Cows are hypnotizing people into not eating meat.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  Once you know the facts it becomes so crystal clear.  Think about it:

* Cows have those deep brown eyes, perfect for hypnosis.

* Cultures that don’t eat beef don’t eat any meat.  Cultures that don’t eat pork still eat beef.  Pigs clearly can’t hypnotize.

* Some vegetarians still eat fish, or even chicken.  But the FIRST thing they always give up is “red meat”.

* All creatures in nature have some form of defense against being eaten.  Cows have nothing.  They’re dumb, slow, big, without weapons.  Nature wouldn’t do this to anyone, so it gave them the power to hypnotize.

* Vegetarians seem driven to convert the world.  Meat eaters, not so much.  Vegetarians have been hypnotized to do the cow’s work for them.

* Vegetarians are frequently people who’s minds are open to change and personal growth.  Therefor they might be more likely to fall prey to hypnotic suggestion.

* I could go on, but no amount of evidence will be enough for some people.

So there you have it.  Vegetarianism explained.  Next time you see a group of cows staring at you be sure you steel your mind and your resolve.  Otherwise you’ll be damning yourself to a lifetime of salads and tofu.  You’ve been warned.  Vaya con Dios.  Viva la Revolucion.

Thanksgiving 09

Loyal members of the flock, we are gathered here in gratitude for our annual Thanksgiving celebration.  We all know the value of gratitude.  We all know that it brings joy, service, and wisdom.  And we all know that it’s opposite, entitlement, is one of the Man’s great weapons to make you miserable and fuck up the world.  So go ahead, enjoy your turkey, stuff yourself with pie, and revel in all that is good.  Since we already know all this, let’s move on shall we?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?  4:00 am lines outside Walmart, a store that’s open all the fucking time?  Masses fighting to get into Kmart or Macy’s in the middle of the night?  SHEEP SHEEP FUCKING SHEEP.  Okay, I need to calm down.  Deep breathing.  There we go.  Ohhhmmmmmm.  Better now.  Let’s try to discuss this calmly.

Christmas is a giant retail scam to keep you in debt, working for the man, and away from any kind of spiritual awakening.  There is absolutely no reason on earth to buy everyone a gift once a year.  If you see something that you’d like to give a friend or family member,buy it and give it to them.  Right than.  Forced gift giving is evil.  I’ve read the bible and no where in it does Jesus say “If you love me you better buy a gameboy for your nephew”.  The wacky conservatards on the right even have this part right.  Christmas is a celebration of light, a spiritual holy day tied to the solstice, a chance for us to be reborn with the new year.  Not some great sacrifice to the god’s of retail.  And I’m not just ranting here.  I have kids and we don’t do christmas gifts.  Really.  And they’ve survived just fine.

If you’re on line before dawn in order to save a couple of bucks and buy a bunch of gifts you need to seriously examine your life.  Where are your priorities?  With Christ?  Nope.  With Joy and light and rebirth?  Hardly.  SHEEP, SHEEP, FUCKING SHEEP, SLAUGHTER THEM ALL.  No, no, calm down.  More breathing.  Go to my happy place.  Ahhhhhhhh. peace and bliss.  Now where were we?

Love is not for sale.  Your children will not love you more if you buy them some piece of crap video game.  There are 10,000 better ways to show friends that you care.  If you need to give your wife a diamond in order for her to show you physical affection then you married a whore.  Commercials are stealing your humanity.  Christmas is killing your spirit.  Each time you christmas shop a small part of your soul dies.  Stop before it’s too late.  Happy holidays!  Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion.  Amen.

Some Thoughts on Religion

“We don’t see things as they are… We see things as we are.” – Anais Nin

Okay, brothers and sisters.  Just a quick thought today.  Since I am a Reverend and you are my faithful, if imaginary, flock you probably deserve to know my thoughts on religion.  So here goes.  Regardless of a belief in God, any and all religions are institutions of man and therefor flawed.  Every church represents the thoughts and order of the time of it’s birth.  That’s why the catholic church is set up along medieval lines.  Religious people rarely make that distinction in order to adopt the privileges of the divine for themselves.  They commit the sin of hubris, showing themselves for the self centered scum suckers they are.  True spirituality is manifest in only ONE way, joyful kindness to others.  Any other expression is selfish, ego driven, manipulative bullshit.

We are all divine.  The universe is manifest in all of us equally.  If the universe is infinite, we can all be the center.  Anyone who represents that they have the ear of God, or knows what God thinks, or volunteers to interpret God’s will should be immediately tarred and feathered.  Or at least treated with scorn.  Because he is implying that he is holier than you, and that is evil.  Kick him in the nuts.  Now let’s go out and blow some shit up.  Viva la revolucion.  Amen.

Watching the News

Good morning ladies and gentlemen.  Do you watch the news?  Read the papers?  And do you ponder what you see?  Really give it some thought to try to understand the DEEPER MEANING of it all?  Well, perhaps we shouldn’t.  Perhaps our lives would be better served by ignoring the news and concentrating on our own spiritual development.  Unfortunately I don’t seem to be wired that way.  And the news is pissing me off.

Sometimes the random order of stories on a newscast accidentally points to a larger truth.  Weird juxtapositions leading to even weirder conclusions.  And so it goes.  Let me show you what I mean.  Last night the nice news lady on some channel told me all about the 32% increase in Public University fees next year.  After some hand wringing, she moved on to a story about the elite rich town of Tiburon in Marin County and their decision to record the license plate numbers of EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO ENTERS THEIR CITY.  This brilliant plan will allow their police to immediately investigate every outsider if a crime is committed.  (As a quick aside, how the fuck can this possibly be legal?  Land of the free my ass.)

Here we have two seemingly unrelated stories.  Do you see the deeper pattern?  Well, I do.  And that’s why I’m the Reverend.  (And possibly because I’m crazy and paranoid.)  So here goes.  Before WW2, the GI Bill, and the affluence of the middle class, higher education used to be the privilege of the fairly rich.  It was an easy way to control the masses through ignorance.  During the last fifty years the chance to better yourself and your situation through a college degree was offered to pretty much everybody.  Rich, poor, dark or light skinned, immigrant, conservative or liberal.  Apparently this has become too much threat to the ruling squirrel elite and they are shutting it down.

The easiest way to keep people from advancing is to keep them out of school.  It’s no accident that inner city social dynamics insure that black men almost never escape through education.  And now the elite are bold enough to make it too expensive for another entire class of people.  Oh sure, in theory education will still be open.  But as Anatole France said “”The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.”  And we’re letting them do it.

The official response to the protests around the fee hike was equally fascinating.  It seems that more money will be made available for student loans in order to help poorer students stay in school.  (Gee, where did that money come from?)  It’s estimated that a student using this program can expect to have about $100,000.00 in debt after graduation.  And that’s just for undergraduates.  Hope you don’t want an advanced degree.  When they used this kind of program for immigration it was called indentured servitude.  Is there much difference between “We’ll give you a ride on the boat to a better job but you’ll have to work for years to pay it off” and “We’ll get you a degree to get you a better job but…”

So let me get this straight.  The poor kids just can’t go to college any more and the middle class kids can go but will essentially be indentured servants when they graduate.  Meanwhile the rich kids still get to go to Stanford while daddy pays.  Is it any surprise that neighborhoods like Tiburon are beginning to feel like castles?  As the rich get richer and everyone else bends over to get fucked, it’s pretty clear why they’d want to keep track of who dares drive through their domain.  See, I told you these stories were connected.  The nice news lady might even have suspected it.  But what are we going to do about it?  Viva la Revolucion.  Vaya con Dios.  Amen.

Change Thoughts

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.” – Marian Wright Edelman

Brothers and sisters of the imaginary flock, we are gathered here in our electronic, non-temporal way again.  And I’m warming up my imaginary deeply resonant voice to preach again.  And it occurs to me that most all of my sermons involve change, and not the few cents collected in my virtual collection plate.  Change as in trying something new, giving up old patterns to find new, funner and freer ones.  And as we all know, change sucks.  It requires us to take risks, give up a certain level of comfort, and it collects in the compartments of your car.  Well, so it goes.  We all probably knew that.  But change is hard for another, more subtle reason.  When it goes bad we know it all at once, but when it works we might not see the effects for many years.  The slow pace means we might miss the benefits all together.  And that’s why change takes faith,

Thinking about this reminded me of yet another story.  A true one.  When I was still young and naive enough to think that world could be saved (you know, in college)  I was involved with a couple of oral history projects with a professor.  We were interviewing black World War Two vets on their experiences returning to the segregated country they had defended.  One particularly eloquent older gentleman had been a sergeant in Italy.  His company had taken incredible casualties and then he returned to Mississippi.  As he related the indignities visited upon him by ignorant white crackers I got overly enthusiastic and strayed from my script.  (Yeah, I know.  Following directions has never been my strong point.  But he didn’t mind.)  I asked him, in my naive middle class white boy way, why he and his returning compatriots didn’t rebel?  Why did the civil rights movement wait 20 more years?  And damned if he didn’t know the answer!

I still remember the first line of his answer exactly, but I’ll have to paraphrase the rest.  He said “Son, I just couldn’t do it.  But I made damn sure my kids could”.  He talked about how no matter what his military experience taught him, he was still the product of a racist society.  He said ‘Yessir” and ‘No Ma’am’ and couldn’t really make himself stop.  Even though he knew intellectually that he was equal, the brutal reality of his upbringing meant that he could never quite get there emotionally.  But he raised three sons to believe something that he was never told.  That they were equal.  To ANYONE.  And they believed him, as did their friends.  And their generation gets the credit for one of the best things to happen to this country.  But it was their father’s and mother’s that changed.  Even if many of them never got to see a black skinned man take the oath of office.

There’s a chinese belief that demons are inherited.  (I know, that was a hard left turn without a good segue.  Bad flow, bad writer.  Oh well, sucks to be me.)  I like this belief, even if I’m skeptical about the demon part.  We all fight our parent’s battles over again if they didn’t win it first.  An abusive father has abusive sons and abusive grandsons, on and on.  But if one generation says “NO” and fights the demon that leads to abuse, that demon might be killed and that abuse might not move forward.  The results of that change will resonate through a thousand generations.  That, folks, is change you can believe in.

Change.  It sucks.  And you might not see the results in your lifetime.  Too bad.  Suck it up and do what’s right.  Do the hard work and the heavy lifting.  Don’t leave it for some future generation.  And teach your kids to do shit you can’t.  You might not change this world but you will change some future one.  Viva la revolucion.  Amen.

Some Sexist Thoughts

Bro’s and ho’s, how are we today?  The Right Reverend feels like stirring up a little trouble.  So prepare yourself to be offended.  Or not.  I can never tell.  Anyway, I’ve been thinking about the way men treat women.  I’m old.  Older than the hills.  Older than the microprocessor.  Older than dirt.  To prove that I was raised to treat women with a certain amount of respect and a large dollop or deference.  As a man my sacred role was as protector of the ‘weaker’ sex.  Yep, good old fashioned sexist pig stuff.  And by ending that practice we might have created a big fucking problem.  The law of unintended consequences strikes again.

Men, in particular young men, really want to have sex.  For many of those young men that means finding a willing female partner.  Usually a daunting task.  So young men do things like try to impress girls, take them to chick flicks, pretend to like kittens, and all sorts of other subterfuges.  The point is to find a girl who will say ‘yes’.

I know, this is hardly news.  But bear with me.  In this never ending quest for pussy it would be easy for guys to dehumanize their intended targets.  And while we all knew a couple of scumbags in high school or college who would do or say anything to be admitted to the moist parts, they were the exception.  And the bragging dumbass with the panty collection would be disliked by men as well as women.  He was not a ‘real’ man since ‘real’ men protected girls.  Even as they were trying to score.

There’s no question that those chivalrous beliefs were condescending, sexist, and almost certainly wrong.  But they did serve this one really good purpose.  They taught respect for women and a certain level of empathy.  These days many young men seem to completely lack these qualities.  We removed the sexist stuff but we didn’t bother to replace it with anything.  So most young men just treat women as prey.  Somewhere to put their dick.  A ‘score’.  And when some dumbass boasts about his ‘conquests’ the other boneheads cheer.  Date rape is more the rule than the exception.  A recent college study showed that 35% of college freshmen boys would commit forcible rape if they knew they wouldn’t be caught.  Because I’m old I don’t think that they’re real men.

I don’t have any good answer here.  Returning to sexism makes no sense, but an entire generation of predator boys seems worse.  I can’t help thinking of the difference between a native American hunting a buffalo with respect, and using it’s meat and hide with a profound reverence and gratitude.  And then comparing them to the fuckheads shooting game from a helicopter just for the cheap thrill.  I’m not sure this is progress.  Any thoughts?  Viva la revolucion.  Amen

Paranoid Rainy Friday Afternoon Thoughts

“What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?” – Michelangelo

Brother and sisters, I am royally pissed off today.  I know, this isn’t really news.  I’m pissed off a lot.  And I think you should be too.  Anyway here’s the burr that’s gotten under my saddle today.  (Ooooh, I’m feeling cowboyish.  How butch.)

Subliminal shit works.  No, not that crazy backward album crap or the suicide messages in heavy metal music.  Not even the naked breasts cleverly hidden in the billboard cartoon.  I’m talking about subliminal messages that change public opinion through constant media repetition.  Those uber-squirrels Roger Ayles, Karl Rove, and the far right use it all the time.  They figured out that if you just repeat some piece of shit lie enough times in the media it becomes true in people’s minds.  The fact that it isn’t true at all disappears behind the perception.  Most of this dumb-ass country thinks Iraq was at least partially responsible for 9/11.  Nope, just squirrel talking points repeated over and over.  It works, and it works well.  When the revolution starts those people are going feet first into the wood chipper.  Slowly.

Sorry about that.  I got off track.  Anyway, we were talking about achieving evil squirrel social change through subliminal repetition.  I’m sure that there are quite a few good examples, and if you look I’m sure you’ll root them out.  One in particular is driving me crazy.  And it has to do with one of my favorite topics, sex.  As I’ve often discussed, the squirrels on both the left and right hate sex.  Don’t get me started on that again or we’ll never get to my observation.  Suffice it to say that they do not want you to be a happy, joyous. sexual creature and they’re using media subliminal messages to demonize your desires.

This is usually the point where all but my most faithful parishioners start to think “uh oh, here comes the crazy conspiracy crap”.  So instead of talking about some big super secret anti-sex cabal or some other nutcase theory let me just point out one simple observation and you can judge for yourself.  Whenever you hear the word sex on the news or in the media be sure to notice the words with which it’s paired.  Almost every time you hear the word it’s in the context of ‘sex crime’ or ‘illicit sex’ or ‘sexual predator’ or something else very negative.  There’s a constant effort to link the word sex with crime and evil.  And remember, this shit works.  What kind of world are we building?  And do we really want to make sex any more guilt ridden?  Somebody is going to pay for this.  Vaya con Dios and Viva La Revolucion

-Archbishop Angus

Death days are here again

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” – Helen Keller

Sermonize sermonize sermonize.  Ahh, the life of the hard working Reverend.  Doing God’s work, having a few snacks, and trying to get the attention of a cruel and uncaring world.  Or maybe just trying to find something young, cute and snuggly to play hide the sausage with.  Anyway where was I?  Oh yes, doubt.  Well, let’s talk about that some more.  It’s a rich vein.

I’m afraid I’m going to have start this sermon with some very disturbing news.  I hate to be the one who has tell you this, but it’s true and you should know.  You’re going to die.  And pretty soon.  Couple score years at most.  And NOBODY knows what happens next.  Worm food or 71 virgins?  Paradise or burning damnation or just a whole lot of nothin?  And it gets worse.  A few short years after that no one will remember you or anything you did.  The average American school kid has no fucking clue who Ghandi and Hiltler were, so what kind of chance do you have?  I know.  It sucks.  But there it is.  Wow, what a downer.

Okay, so now that we got that over with let’s see what the fucking squirrels are up to.  Whoa, what a surprise!  They’re lying to you.  They think you don’t know this and that you’ll believe them when they tell you otherwise.  Oops, I guess I spoiled that scam.

Let’s look at the denial around this most profound fact of life.  That it ends.  The government, social mommies, advertisers, and religion use your fear of death and doubt about what comes next to manipulate you all the time.  Here’s how they do it.  Forewarned is forearmed.

The Government- The world is full of scary people who want to kill YOU right now.  Just give us all the power and we’ll protect you.  We can keep you from dying by blowing up Arabs!  Fear of death is the entire basis for our foreign policy and defense strategy.  But all the missiles in the world won’t make you live forever.  Sure, being blown up by a car bomber would suck, but that’s probably not how you’re going to die.  So making BIG decisions based on that fear is just silly. Of course we should protect our country from real invaders.  But there aren’t any at the moment and trying to protect your life that way denies that it’s going to end anyway,

Social Mommies- If you smoke you’ll die.  If you don’t wear a helmet or a seat belt you’ll die.  If you eat red meat you’ll die.  If you have sex you’ll die.  Every one of these fucking things implies that if you wrap yourself in bubble wrap and eat berries you’ll live forever.  You won’t.  Luck and genetics are the big players.  The rest of these things will just hedge your bets.  I’m sure some of these things are good ideas, but the message is a lie.  I guess “wear a helmet and statistically you might live a little bit longer” isn’t an effective tool.  Any time some squirrel is trying to scare me into behaving I immediately want to ride my motorcycle without a helmet while drinking and smoking a cigar.  But then I’m kind of an asshole.

Advertisers- More of the same.  Use our product or take our drug and you’ll live forever.  Wrong.  And feeble.  Don’t buy any product that tries to subtly use this message.

Religion- I’m not sure I even have to expound much here.  Too obvious.  Figure it out for yourself.  I’ve done a fair amount of work with the seriously ill.  It changes your perspective and serves as a good reminder.

I’d like to close today with a true story.  The names have been left the same because I don’t give a fuck.  I once had a great employee and friend by the name of Nick.  Nick was gay and like a lot of gay men in the late 80’s, he had AIDS.  Although he has since passed, he lived successfully with the disease for many years and had a wicked sense of humor.  For a long time I was the only one at work that knew of his condition, but he finally allowed it to become common knowledge.  At the company Xmas party that year the Vice President, a neanderthal named Mike, heard about Nick’s disease and called Nick over.  He proclaimed loudly how sorry he was that Nick was going to die.  You could have heard a pin drop.  Nick didn’t miss a beat.  He put his arm around Mike and, with a tear in his voice, said “I’m sorry to tell you Mike, but you should know.  You’re going to die to.  Maybe even before me.  I just know what I’ll probably die of, and you don’t”.  Mike started to get mad, and I loudly announced that if someone didn’t get that “dumbass” out of my sight I was going to beat the shit out of him.  Besides being a quick example of why I’m unemployable by normal people, it’s a great lesson.  Nick was right.  And the punch line is that Nick outlived Mike by a couple of years.  Mike had a fatal stroke in his early 50’s.  So don’t be a dumbass.  It’ll kill you.  Vaya con Dios.  Viva La Revolucion.  Amen.

Am I right? I doubt it.

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” – Bertrand Russell

Dearly Beloved, it is your preacher’s job to remind you of the finer human traits and try to exhort you to develop them rather than your weaker, baser impulses.  That’s why you hear me constantly prattling on about avoiding fear and competition, laziness and apathy, conformity and dullness, and instead choose love, compassion, kindness, beauty, fun, center, sex, and joy.  Well, we are gathered here today to discuss of those important human positives.  The gift of doubt.

Oh, you say, doubt is not as important as joy or kindness.  You think doubt is negative.  And besides, there is absolutely no room for doubt in theology.  Just ask any other Reverend in any other religion since they all seem to be pretty damn sure of themselves and they speak for a god.  Bullshit bullshit bullshit.  Doubt is one of the greatest human traits.  It’s the tool that allows for progress.  Without doubt we don’t get freedom.  And it’s also the very best way to identify squirrels.  Listen up, boys and girls.  There’s an important lesson here.

As I’ve said before, we as humans don’t know shit.  We’re stuck on this insignificant little planet in the universal backwater and are only a few short years from hitting cows with a stick while praying to the great volcano god in order to eat.  We’ve got no fucking idea what’s going on.  Is there a god?  Is there other life?  Why are we here?  What exactly is life?  Why are we self-conscious?  How does the universe work?  Where did it come from?  How are we supposed to live?  Hell, we can’t even seem to agree if women count as people.  This PROFOUND IGNORANCE is what must define EVERYTHING we think.  Anyone with half a brain knows that it’s all just a guess, and a poorly informed one at that.

Wise, caring and intelligent people know this is true.  And truth is never weak.  Truth is powerful.  But the Man knows that we all have fear and He knows that one of our greatest fears is of the unknown.  Which can be a problem since fucking EVERYTHING is unknown.  So He offers a salve for that great seething boil of fear.  He offers certainty.  He offers confidence.  He offers simple questions and absolute answers.   He seems so sure and says it with such strength, and the fear can seem so overwhelming, so we believe it.  We take solace in his doubtless world view and feel safe in knowing that if we just do as we’re told it will all be all right.  He told us to  seek the truth.  In the bible, the government, my local church, or at my local friendly corporation.  Ahhhhh, don’t you feel better now!  WRONG.  HE IS WRONG.

The Man doesn’t know any more than you.  Your priest is just as clueless about God as you are.  Your employer knows nothing.  The government couldn’t find it’s ass with both hands in a dark room.  Every single fucking time you hear someone say that God wants something, he is LYING.  Whenever a government official promises that things will get better with him, he is LYING.  Corporations lie just for fun.

So what does this mean?  Why is this important?  What should we do with this info?  First, you need to deal with your own fear of the unknown.  Practice saying the mantra of the doubter- “I don’t know”.  Go ahead.  It won’t kill you.  Is there a God?  I don’t know.  What policy will lead to more economic wealth?  I don’t know.  Should women have to wear bags over their head in public and be stoned to death for having sex?  I don’t know.  Because you don’t know.  Once you acknowledge this you stand some chance of making a better guess because at least you’re starting with the truth.  And the resulting openness might allow some better ideas to come through.

Secondly, if someone says they’re sure of something, don’t trust them.  At all.   You know they’re either lying to you or themselves or both.  Don’t trust anything they say and see if you can figure out their motives.  This is particularly important in terms of finding a place to worship or a place to work.

Thirdly, you now have an new fact.  Any one who seems sure is by definition DUMBER THAN YOU ARE.  Don’t listen to them and for gods sakes don’t vote for them.  We want smart people as leaders, and smart people doubt.  Stop voting by party or conservative vs liberal.  Vote for the smartest guy who seems to be lying the least.  The guy who seems sure of his answers is exactly the guy we want to avoid most.  It’s no coincidence that true believers have always fucked us over the most.  Let’s get rid of the squirrels in public office for good.

I know this is a hard lesson.  Dickhead Cheney seems so sure that we’re better off killing arabs.  The theocratic right is so sure they know what god wants.  And they use their confidence like a bludgeon to scare you away from those who aren’t quite so certain.  Well, you’ve been warned.  If you want joy and freedom, beauty and sex, life and fun, you need to embrace doubt.  And stamp out the squirrels who think they know something.  Unless I’m wrong!  Viva La Revolucion.  Amen.