So, I was supposed to go to Sacramento yesterday to celebrate Greek Easter. I’m not Greek or Christian, but what the hell, I just like celebrating. For familial reasons I had to stay in the city so I decided to go down to Japantown and catch the Cherry Blossom Festival and Parade instead. And I have just one observation. Those Japaneses are whacky.
In the interest of full disclosure let me say that I am a bit of a nipophile. I don’t know if that’s a word, but it sounds vaguely naughty so I like it. Anyway, I love the Japanese aesthetic, I have a black belt and 20+ years in a Japanese martial art, and I totally fall for all the Bushido/Samurai crap. I have a Japanese/American wife, 2 kids who are half Japanese, and a well known powerful weakness for Japanese girls (They are just so damn cute. Drool drool drool. Insert Homer Simpson sound here). But still. They are just too weird.
Every year they have a big parade. There’s a Grand Marshall. This year it was George Takei. Okay. No problem yet. Every year there’s also a special guest flown in from Japan. They sell posters and other stuff in order to raise money for airfare, hotel, and an appearance fee for the special guest. In past years it’s been people like Toshiro Mifune (who was very cool) or other well known personalities. This year the special guest was….wait for it….you won’t believe it….Hello Kitty. Huh?
I almost died. Posters for sale announcing that Hello Kitty was coming from Japan. And in the parade, in amongst the other dignitaries, in his/her? own convertible, there was Hello Kitty. From Japan! The real one, not just some copy. Or so I guess. And the crowd went nuts.
What is wrong with these people? Have you seen what their fashion sense is? Bukkake? Fetishization of cartoon characters in Cosplay? Just go on Youtube and search “Japanese Gameshow” if you think I’m wrong. Whacky whacky whacky. Well, let me tell you, there could have been no better preparation for 4/20 celebrations. I hope they never change.